I Think I've Lost My Mind

I have this friend, Natalie, that I follow online.

And really, I should say "friend" because as I sit alone at home and read her blog I think of her as my friend. Although the sad truth is that we have never met and she has no idea who I am.

No, I'm not a creepy stalker.

I don't think.

But I have found myself saying things to my husband like, "My one online friend says..." because it's much easier than explaining the truth to him.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she posted How to run and not hate it (even when you still do): in 6 (somewhat easy, or excrutiatingly painful) steps.

And I'll admit, this post inspired me.

I don't run. I've never wanted to run. I could never understand why people wanted to run. But after reading her post I had this strange desire to try it. I mean, she hated it too, right? And now she loves it. And it's simple to do. (Notice that I said simple, not easy.)

I thought to myself, "Self, what if there's a runner in you and you've just never given her a chance. What if she's waited her whole life for you to step up your game and let her out? She's probably named Joan...because that's a good name for a runner. And if I let her out, I can transform into Sara-Joan, the super runner. Perhaps my legs would even grow long and skinny. And I'd move with grace. Yes, Sara-Joan is definitely more graceful than just plain Sara, short and stout. "

Um...okay, enough of my inner thoughts, they get weird.

Anyway, I sat on this idea for a couple of weeks. My husband is always going on about how he wants to start running again. What if we did it together and encouraged each other?

So this weekend we made the commitment. We didn't follow the same plan as Natalie. Instead, we chose to do the Couch-to-5K plan. This way, we could trade off running times. One would walk with the kids while the other ran up and back, then switch.

This morning was our first run.

That's right, I went running this morning.

Seriously. Can you believe it?? I can't.

How did it go?

Well...I'm not sure how to answer that. I thought I was going to kill over after my first 60 seconds of running. But the 90 second break was enough rest to give it a try again.

As I went, both my running and walking became slower and slower.

But we finished our 20 minutes.

I was exhilarated.

I did it!! I ran!!

And then the light headedness set in, followed by the nausea.

Bleh.

It took about an hour of sitting and drinking lots of water to feel like a normal human being again.

Really, I still kind of hated it. But I'm determined to give it a chance. I mean, when I first started working out it took a few weeks before I began enjoying it. So I think that running deserves the same chance.

How else will I ever become the graceful Sara-Joan?



P.S. This was totally me this morning:


(Not sure where this image originates from, sorry)

I really want...

...a Coca-Cola right now.

Less than 2 weeks to go...

Serious

Okay, it's really time to get serious again.

Seriously.

'Cause I can't just let myself go.

It took too much work getting myself where I was.

Seriously.

And now it's the holiday season and I can just see myself beginning to spiral.

There is a bit of a problem with my workout schedule. My son is starting to have appointments and they all seem to be in the morning, when I would regularly work out. I just hope that it slows down soon...although it doesn't seem likely.

So I'm going to start by getting a handle on my diet again. Starting tomorrow I'm going with no sugary items for 2 weeks.

It's going to be rough.

Just for my own sake I'll spell it out: candy, baked goods, and soda.

But hopefully it weans me off my need for sweets.

Wish me luck and stick with me. I really need your support to keep me honest!

Weigh In

Whew!

This morning I weighed myself and was 184.

That's a least a little better.

It's amazing what a week of less junk and little movement can do.

I'm back on the path to lower weight once more.

Hurray!

The Goal

We made it!!

Chelsey's wedding was a couple of weekends ago.

Congratulations Chey!!!

She is now a married lady.

And she looked SO fabulous for her wedding.

While at her wedding location, we compared weights and discovered that we were both right around 175.

We decided it was too close to call an official winner.

We were both equally awesome and we did a happy dance to celebrate our amazingness.

Go us!!

And then I did it. I messed up.

BIG time.

I've reached my goal. I told myself. I've worked so hard and I deserve a break while on this vacation.

And so I took a break.

Cake. Candy. Coke. Coke. Coke. Candy. Eating out. Fair food. Eating out. Ice Cream. Coke. Candy. Cookies. Snack food.

You get the idea.

I really let loose.

Like, seriously.

It's okay. I'm on vacation. I've made my goal. I can easily make it back up again when I get home.

And so this morning I weighed myself. My usual morning routine.

My. jaw. hit. the. floor.

189

What??

Seriously??

Oh. my. goodness.

I totally didn't even want to tell you that weight. I wanted to lie. To fudge it a bit. What if I just said I gained a few pounds and left it at that?

But then there would be no accountability for what I've done.

Did I really just gain almost 15 pounds in 2 weeks?

Did I really just throw MONTHS of hard work out the window for a few (*ahem* many) guilty pleasures?

I feel dumb.

I want to cry.

I want to break my scale.

But instead, I woke up early this morning and worked out.

I have done it before and I'll do it again.

And so now I'm back for a bit.

Back to working out.

Back to watching what I eat.

And back to doing weekly weigh-ins on our little blog here.

Because it's what keeps me honest through the week- my dedication to honesty with all of you.

Here I go again...